Who's talking....

As I stay in the boat, a question comes to mind are the “storms” that surround me, storms that are generated by my decisions that are not apart of God’s will but rather my will? I find that this question to often makes me hesitate and sometimes even turn my back on what really is God’s will because I don’t have a burning bush in front of me telling me what to do. Is it my fleshly desires or is it His will? In a “christian” culture where you hear things are said like “you don’t have because you don’t have enough faith” or “speak it into existence” how much of that is truly His will? The storm that Jonah faced had everything to do with him disobeying God for he judged a people whom God wanted to give a second chance. The more I get to know the nature of God, like Jonah, the more I realize how much I am not like Him and His way is not like my way. I have to choose to trust that His way is best regardless of what I think the outcome may be and I must pray, as a friend said, with faith without fear that I clearly know His will and He will fulfill it through me.

Do you still...

Okay, I am still in the boat with the disciples huddled together scared of the awesome power of Christ. I’ve been focused on His question “Why are you afraid?” but to answer that question I must first answer the second question that Christ asks his disciples, “Do you STILL have no faith?” In the storm it is hard, at least for me, to see beyond the wind and the rain however I know that it is my choice to trust Him regardless if He calms the storm or not. The key to it is that my choice has absolutely no bearing upon His nature. The truth that He can calm the storm does not hinge upon whether I choose to trust Him or not. What I choose to believe in does not shape the nature of God to formulate an outcome. It would be my unfaltering trust in His will that would make the noise of the storm mute and this is blatantly demonstrated by Christ asleep in the boat. Therefore, the question Christ poses to His disciples is the same question I must ask myself as I go through storms that I face, “do you still have no faith?” My faith in Him is expressed in the way I live my life day by day, moment by moment. How I answer His question if I still have no faith will tell if I wither in failure or conquer in joy and unfortunately I have found that my answer is always changing.

Why are you scared

I have been continuing my discussion with the Lord about who He is and how He wants me to see Him and He brings up a recurring question, “Why are you afraid?” Back in the boat with the shaking disciples after He calmed the blistering storm Christ asks them, “Why ARE you afraid?”
The waves are now calm, the wind gone, the water quietly lapping the side of the boat yet the disciples are in the boat and as Mark puts it “very much afraid” so I asked, why were they still afraid? Why didn’t they respond with a “Yeah Jesus, you’re awesome! That “be still” thing was just WOW!” No instead they cowered in the boat asking “who is this guy?” Now I will be the first to say I don’t know the minds of the disciples but maybe the conversation went kinda like this. “Did you know He could command the seas?” Judas asked finally breaking the deafening silence. With wide eyed blank stares the other disciples looked at each other and shook their heads. Then one by one they began hanging their heads looking at their toes. Then Peter mumbled, “Do you think that He commanded the storm that sank Frank’s boat and killed his crew last week because you know Frank getting drunk every night?” “Don’t know,” said Philip, “but I’m not gonna ask Him after He wasn’t happy and pointed it out we didn’t understand His story about the sower and the seed.” “If He can do that like it was nothing,” asked Thaddeus, “what else can He do?” “Well we’ve seen Him heal people of all kinds of stuff,” replied Bartholomew. “We’ve also seen Him ticked off at the Pharisees,” retorted Matthew. “What can He do to us?” whispered James finally asking the question that was on all their minds. “I mean, look at what God did to Pharaoh through Moses and this guy is doing the same kind of stuff and on a whim too.” With their heads back down looking at their feet not daring to glance at Him silence again reigned in the boat. But then John looked up and held his gaze on Jesus looking out across the sea. “But would He do something like that?” he finally asked. They all looked up at Andrew as he was fixed on Jesus. Then they all began to look at Him when He suddenly turned to them with a gentle smile on His face. “Why are you still afraid?” He asks. Okay, I am sure that is not how it went but it points out an issue. If I know that Christ has my best interest in mind, why would I be afraid of what He has in store for me? Maybe it would be because what I think is my best interest isn’t what He thinks is my best interest and I know that but I still want what I want. All that my fear would prove is that I am not concerned about having His will lived out in my life but rather I’m concerned only for my own selfish gains.

How does He want to be seen?

I couldn’t sleep at all last night, tossing and turning wide awake every hour. I normally take that as God really wanting to talk to me without distractions. So, while spending some time with the Lord, I began contemplating who Christ really is in my life. The disciples were in the boat and the storm raged around them. Christ is woken up by His panicked disciples where effortlessly He dispersed the storm. Then His disciples asked the question “Who then is this?” Did they have such a mind’s eye image of the Messiah that they could not picture Him calming the storm? Is the image that we have or more appropriately, the image that I have, an image that hinders me from seeing the fullness of God? Do I only see him as the shepherd with a crook in one hand and lamb in the other? For example do I see Him as only giving me “as much as I can handle”? If so, that simply shows my misunderstanding of the nature of God and who He really is. God will give me what He can handle; it is my responsibility to rely upon Him. It is His strength that allows me to complete the task (Phil 4:13), it is His Spirit that empowers me (Zec 4:6). It is my blindness that hinders me from seeing Him as He wants to be seen, my shortcomings that hinders me from relying upon Him for the fullness of life He offers, my sin that desire to bring Him down to my level and make a god in my image. Oh God! forgive me for distorting you into something you’re not to justify my own shortcomings. Help me see you as you want to be seen, and help me to fully rely upon you keeping my eyes fixed solely upon you.